Dear Kanye,

Please, for the sake of your own self-aggrandizement, stop it! We get it, you think you could destroy Jesus in a thumb wrestling competition -- hands down (or doest that expression apply?). Does anyone make any real shit anymore, well, in accordance with you, I'm not that sure. Let's deconstruct shall we? That song that helped you destroy Fitty's career, "Stronger," (as everyone knows) is a sample from Daft Punk. So you making fun of people not making real shit in a song that isn't really yours is okay? Right, I forgot you trump Jesus. And on that point, you have completely bit the shit out of electronic/house/Justice/MIA (they're all synonyms), but with avail. 

How do you get away with it? 

Maybe it's the fact that you symbolize our hedonistic culture. Over-confident, self-absorbed asshole with a world-view which doesn't exceed your gaudy eye-wear. And what the fuck is this about you studying English literature so that you can rhyme in iambic pentameter, and thus be remembered for your poetic license? Last time I checked with my love, J. Donne, (pronounced J-dot) he was confused with the lines: "Heard they'd do anything for a Klondike/ Well I'd do anything for a blonde dyke." Actually, hold the phone, there are five feet per line there. Looks like your name is going to be leather-bound, collecting dust between Voltaire and Wilde in the not-so-distant future. Great news, bespectacled neophyte scholars will be studying your metaphysical conceits with nothing short of genuine awe.

Signed,

 

50 Cent.