The Gym Vs. Outdoors

So here's the deal: Gyms, those sweaty places fraught with soccer moms and juiced football players, are superfluous. And here's why: We have the outdoors. Remember that environment thing that we are seemingly fucking up.

Sew, you will be saying things, such as, 'But what if it's cold outside?' or 'I don't like running with cars' and so on and so fuckin' forth.

The apex of my beef with gyms are that they are a) ostentatious b) a status symbol c) expensive d) unneeded. Main point: If you find yourself looking out the window while running on a treadmill -- your intuition is right, something is wrong. Most go to the gym, ostensibly, to be seen working out. Like the common phrase, for example, "I'm going to hit the gym tonight" if not a conversation starter, is a status symbol to show that you like to 'keep fit' and have the ability to work out with various other strangers in a fishbowl milieu while putting your flabby gluteus maximus through (so-called strenuous) exercises.

And the solution to saving that plastic/paper in your wallet and ostensibly the evironment (by not using a simulator to run on) is to go the 'fuk' outside. Do it. You don't need to run inside or push iron inside -- go play tennis (I'm a huge new advocate -- it works all your muscle sources) or burn your skin while swimming in a lake or play competitive frisbee with your OCD dog (I'm also a newborn advocate for this sporting event).

What do you say? 'Well, I like to have all this (useless) equipment at my disposal.' Well, shit, we also have baseball fields, soccer nets, basketball nets, swimming pools, tennis courts, bike paths and a whole motley crew of other available OUTDOOR and FREE places to be seen while we exert our obese bodies rife with fast food and alcoholic beverages.

Just fuckin' question shit, like, 'Do I need to pay absurd fees to have strangers stare at my improper use of this monolithic, confusing mechanism?'

Then again, it's your fuckin' wallet and gluteus maximus.

Author's Note: If you're interested whatsoever, please entertain the idea of reading some of my professional (cough) works -- this one, actually, turned out decently:http://www.burlingtonpost.com/printarticle/178899